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Steven’s (26) question: About a month ago I had sex with a guy when I was intoxicated. We didn’t use any lube and I believe I received an anal fissure from it. The pain has since subsided and I can go to the bathroom with no pain or bleeding. Unfortunately, I tried using my dildo on myself after a month and a half because I thought I was fully healed. The results were some slight pain and then bleeding. How much longer should I wait until I try anal play or sex again? My fear is that I will never be able to bottom again and that is giving me a lot of anxiety. Should I go for surgery?

Dr Dick’s response: It usually takes about four weeks after the fissure has healed before you can have anal sex again. Because the anal wall has been torn once, you may have a weak spot in that area for a while until the soft tissue has been completely healed and strengthened. I would suggest that you don’t engage in any form of anal activities for at least four weeks from today. Give it time to heal properly. And then take it gently. If the problem persists, consult with your general practitioner.

You may want to contact OUT’s gay-friendly clinic if you are in the Pretoria / Gauteng area (click here). Or you may want to have a look at other gay-friendly clinics around South Africa, which you can find here.